Enough with the good girls – bring on the Villainesses!

Princesses are among the worst offenders when it comes to “teaching” our girls about being a girl and growing up to become a woman. What princesses care most about is being pretty, kind and finding a husband/prince. They’re passive and rarely in charge of their lives.

Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Huntsman

I’ve had enough of princesses, please bring on the Villainesses! So much pressure is put on our girls to be “the good girl”. Girls should be nice, girls should be good, girls should be sexy but not give it away, girls should be nurturing, girls shouldn’t be too loud… There are just so many (bad and conflicting)  messages being pushed on them without allowing them to live out their whole self. Not one of us is entirely good, or entirely evil, and it’s time we let our girls know that, and that it is ok! Girls need to at times be able to symphatize with charachters who aren’t just “good”. This doesn’t mean that I believe we should “teach our children to be evil” (I’ve actually heard this comment), but to just expose them to “good” characters isn’t doing them any favors either! It’s good for children to see that sometimes, who is good and who is evil depends on from what side you are viewing the story…

I have high, and maybe vain, hopes for the 2013-premiere of the movie Maleficent – told from the perspective of Sleeping Beauty’s nemesis; Maleficent. I’m hoping we will get to see why she behaves the way she does, what makes her “evil” or appear “evil” in our eyes?

This might be a way to read Charlize Theron’s portrayal of the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Huntsman, according to Alyssa Rosenberg who writes that she is intrigued by the character since she “speaks of giving her fallen world the ruler it deserves, who commands armies and welcomes challenges” – hearing this as the description of a fairy tale king wouldn’t make you raise an eyebrow, but the portrayal of a queen behaving the same way might.  A queen might have a bigger challenge in keeping with being good and at the same time ruling with an iron fist than her male counterpart…

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games

Although not a villain, Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games is a good example of a more real, complex female character (at least in the books). She is brave and she is scared, she is a hunter and a nurturer, a daughter forced to act as a mother for her younger sister. She isn’t preoccupied by her looks or finding a husband – she is fighting to survive even before she enters the Hunger Games. And Katniss is filled with different, sometimes conflicting, thoughts and emotions – just like any other girl. Katniss inhabits more than one role at a time, instead of being reduced to the sweet princess-type (this is discussed better here).

We need more complex female characters in literature and on the screen!  Because our kids, sons and daughters, need to know that the world isn’t black and white. More complex characters is a way of conveying that message  to them; that sometimes people make choices that make them look bad for reasons we can actually understand, and sometimes they seem evil because they are inhabiting the wrong gender for our society to allow them to act in certain ways; to show them that there is more than just good or bad; that there is more to people than their surface; and that they have more choices than they might think.

Nunca Mas – Never Again

It’s been 36 years today, since the coup d’état in Argentina. It’s the Día de la Memoria por la Verdad y la Justicia / Day of Remembrance for Truth and Justice. The Guerra Sucia / Dirty War claimed the lives of more than 30 000 people.

Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Daughters, Sons …
Old people, young people – children.
They were taken off the streets, from their homes, in public, in secret.
They were illegaly detained, imprisoned, physically and psychologically tortured, violated, murdered – disappeared…

And the fight for justice continues…

Connecting Girls, Inspiring Futures…

My blonde little swedish sobrina (niece) told me about a year ago, when she had just turned 4, that she wanted to have yellow (blonder) hair – like the princesses in the story books. I asked her why, she said it was prettier…

plan international

Another little sobrina, in the Dominican Republic and also 4 years old, complained about her skin getting too dark in the sun. I asked her why she worried about that, she said lighter skin was prettier…

I can’t remember having similar discussions with my 12 years younger brother when he was their age. The only time his looks ever came up was when he wanted me to comb his hair like Superman (with the little curl hanging down his forehead).

At their age, should they be so concerned about their appearance? Or at any age, for that matter. Clearly, no matter how girls look, they never seem to look good enough. From the colour of our hair, to the shape of our bodies, to the color of our skin – there always seems to be something that we could change for the better. And what scares me the most is that the importance of their looks start at such a young age. How can we change this? How can we inspire the girls around us?

We keep talking about how far we’ve come, how good girls have it today – and yes, things have definitely improved (in some parts of the world) – but girls are still being discriminated against for being girls. From beauty and body issues to being denied an education and forced into marriage when they are still children.

credit: Stockbyte

There are great organizations that we can support, like Plan International and their Because I am a Girl-campaign. But there must also be things that we can do to encourage and inspire the girls we have around us. Because even if the girls close to you don’t have to face the horrible future of being a child bride, she still has issues to face simply because she is a girl. If we, the adults around them, would make an effort to appreciate them for other qualities, read them books about girls who are smart, brave and good friends, instead of simply beautiful and in need of a prince charming – could we make a difference then? If we took the time to spend some real time with them, go to museums, talk to them about things that really matter, things they enjoy that aren’t directly connected to beauty – could we make a difference then?

Scrumptious Swedish Semla – Shrove Tuesday

There are many Swedish traditions that I really don’t know much about. They kind of just hang in the air around me, and I rarely pay them much, if any, attention. But whenever I have a fever and can’t go anywhere (yes, this happens a lot – I think I’m allergic to winter, or something…) I get cravings for stuff I hardly ever eat.

Like the Swedish Semla…

Swedish Semla with milk

For some reason it’s traditionally supposed to be eaten on what we call Fettisdagen (i.e Fat Day in English, Mardi Gras in French,,,) or Shrove Tuesday (today). I think it’s the last day before lent – But nowadays it’s available from around Christmas to Easter. It’s bascially a wheat bun – you cut off the top of the bun, scoop out the inside and fill it with mandelmassa (almond paste). Then you put lots of whipped cream on top (which I always scoop off, not a big fan of cream), put the top back as a lid, and dust it with powdered sugar. It can be easten as it is, or served in a bowl of warm milk, like in the picture – then it’s called hetvägg (i.e hot-wall …).

This year (as most years, actually) we eat it way before we’re supposed to. Today is Shrove Tuesday but I think we already had semla in January, and there’s only so much semla you can eat in one year…

The Queen of Awkwardness: Swedish Cinema

I usually don’t watch Swedish movies – they give me the creeps. I grew up watching movies mainly produced in Sweden or the US, and somewhere along the way I started to dislike Swedish movies. But, intrigued by the trailer for Apflickorna (She Monkeys) shown at Guldbaggegalan (the Swedish Academy Awards) I watched the movie with my brother and his girlfriend. I wish I hadn’t.

Apflickorna - Emma

The movie is centered around Emma and Cassandra, two girls engaged in equestrian vaulting. Emma joining the team is the start of a psychological power struggle between the two girls. It was awarded Best Narrative Feature at the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival and Best Manuscript at Guldbaggegalan. Review after review talks about how magnificent it is, that the power struggle between the two girls is portrayed in such a great way, that the movie deals with questions like how do you build a female identity, what do you lose on your way from childhood to adulthood – and I would’ve loved if that’s what it was about. But when the movie ended, I didn’t feel that I had seen more than a glimpse of that.

The movie was even more awkward than I would ever expect from a Swedish movie, causing us to make jokes throughout the movie just to be able to watch it until the end.  Sometimes a movie needs to be disturbing to get you to think, or make you feel. But this movie really only made me want to step away.

Apflickorna - Cassandra

And this is the problem I have with Swedish movies – they always make me uncomfortable. Sex scenes are always clumsy or filled with anxiety, people who are flirting (like the “power struggle”/”sexual tension” between the two main characters Emma and Cassandra, and Emma’s seven-year-old sister’s attempt to “flirt” with her older cousin by dancing for him in a leopard-print bikini – again: seven-years-old) are always either too young, too perverse, too violent, or just plain wrong. I understand that at times it can be hard to watch movies from other cultures since we differ in out storytelling traditions  – but this is something I should be used to and so I can’t blame it on that.

This movie was by far the most awkward, disturbing movie I’ve seen in a long time – and I think that it could have been so much better. But it left me with nothing to think about - other than that Swedish Cinema really is the Queen of Awkwardness…

Forced sterilization: Sweden 2012

I’ve often gotten the question if Sweden really is paradise. There are a lot of things about Sweden that are great, that could make you think that this is as good as it gets. But everything isn’t great, or even good. One of the horrible things about Sweden is that a form of forced sterilization is still practiced:

There are at least four demands if you want to undergo a gender reassignment surgery in Sweden:

1. You have to be over 18 years old
2. You have to be a Swedish citizen
3. You have to be unmarried (if you are married you’ll have to get a divorce and then re-marry)
4. You have to undergo sterilization

Göran Hägglund - party leader of the Chistian Democats

Earlier this year, there was a move to scrap three of those demands (only keeping the age limit) – but the Christian Democrats managed to persuade the other parties of the right wing alliance to keep the sterilization-demand, because “it needs further investigation”. Why? I still haven’t found a source where the reasons behind this law are clarified. And that the Christian Democrats (who were the only party who still wanted this demand) managed to get their way without any other reason than “further investigation needed” because “it’s a complicated issue” scares me. Obviously, the rest of the alliance (with the leading party the Moderates) doesn’t find the question to be very important.

According to The Local, the Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights (RFSL), “criticized the decision, claiming that ‘government stability’ had been given priority over respect for human rights.”

Demanding sterilization is a human rights violation – it needs no further investigation, especially not when no logic arguments have been presented but rather the discussion has always been from an emotional viewpoint. People who are in need of gender reassignment surgery should not have to accept to be forcibly sterilized.

“New” Sport Defense: Sofia Likes it Rough

Floor Ball - credit Bengt Nyman

In southern Sweden, a coach for a floorball team of 14-year old guys, is teaching these boys three types of defense: Petra, Jennifer and Sofia. Yes, girl’s names. Inspired by (says the coach) the Samuel L. Jackson movie Coach Carter , the boys are supposed to learn different defense tactics by comparing them to how you are “supposed” to treat different girls. Petra likes it rough; “In bed, you can tear her clothes apart and spank her butt“, reads one of the tactic cards that the coach has written. The cards further read that “Petra gets eager when you’re aggressive …” and “Release the monster, release Petra.” “Sofia likes to dress provocative” and by “making out and groping her in the right positions we will get the optimal result”. The boys are also taught that “Jennifer needs to be treated lovingly, be hugged and taken care of”.

the tactic called "Petra" - credit Aftonbladet

It’s needless (I hope) to point out that it’s despicable to talk about girls/women in this way, and to teach it to 14 year old boys. The Swedish floorball association’s chairperson Jane Andersson said to Swedish television (SVT):”This is without a doubt sexist material and completely against what the sports movement stands for,” But when the club’s Vice Chairman was asked if there would be any repercussions for the coach, the answer was: “We haven’t discussed that. This is a very good coach who made a big mistake.” Really? I agree he made a big mistake, a huge mistake, enormous even – but good coach? Actually, I take that back. A mistake is stepping on bus 45 when you were supposed to get on bus 12, forgetting that you’re lactose intolerant and buy a huge milkshake with whipped cream on top – it is not a mistake when you work out a strategy for your team, print it out, and then teach it to said team. That takes way too much thought and planning to be allowed to be called a mistake. Strategies might be good or bad, more or less successful, but they’re not mistakes.

The coach himself told Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet: “My formulations were really stupid and I deeply regret it. I took the tactic from American movies, but it was a big mistake. This is nothing that neither the association, I nor my players stand behind and I really want to apologize to everyone who was offended. I’ve learned my lesson.” So we are now supposed to believe that the coach worked out a strategy that he doesn’t stand behind, because it was pointed out to him that it was inappropriate? It baffles me that he wasn’t fired, and that there will be no consequences what so ever for his actions. Not only did the coach teach the boys to treat women like sex objects, but now the whole club is teaching these 14 year olds that you can behave completely immoral and sexist towards women, and nothing more will happen than that you have to say you’re sorry. That’s it. Welcome to the world boys.

 Now, please tell me one more time how great it is to be a woman in the West. Please tell me that Sweden is the so-called Mecca of gender equality, and please tell me that feminism today is useless because we have nothing left to fight for.

Source: Aftonbladet

The immigrant myth…

I’ve spent a lot of time being angry at the government for having to be one of several other people trying to debunk the myths about immigration. The government should be handling these questions, the government should be providing the facts that prove that immigrants aren’t the ones committing most crimes, that Sweden is not becoming an Islamic country because there are muslims living here, that immigration doesn’t just cost Sweden money – it’s contributing to our wealth as well. But countless times I have found myself having to dig up statistics and studies to disprove these claims to several racists and followers of the Sweden Democrats.

But finally, the government launched a page to their website called “Common internet-myths about immigrants and minorities“, where they present 13 of these myths (including the ones I presented above) and explain why they are myths and not facts. Or did they?

Actually, when reading through, it becomes painfully clear that what the government has done isn’t enough. Every myth is answered, yes, but there are no statistics or studies linked to them and not enough information to explain them. How are we supposed to prove the racists wrong when we have not been presented with enough information to do so? Alexandra Pascalidou, a well-known journalist and human rights activist of greek origin, has in a chronicle in the newspaper Aftonbladet made additions to the governments list, showing the flaws and what needs to be added if we are really going to succeed in shattering these myths.

Alexandra Pascalidou

When answering the myth that most immigrants who flee to Sweden lack real reasons to be here, Pascalidou says that it should be added that Sweden has been involved in the Iraqi and Aghanistan wars, making us partly responsible and therefore making it an obligation of ours to protect the people who’ve suffered from a war that we took part in.

When answering the myth about pork not being served in some schools, the government simply says that in some schools this is true because the kids there don’t eat pork. This gives the impression that the menu is changed only because of muslims, but what about all the vegetarian and vegan children, asks Pascalidou. There are more minorities with differing diets than just the ones following the islamic faith.

One of the most popular myths is that immigration has led to a crime-wave. This is one of the most widespread myths, and the government fails to discuss social class. Where do the criminals live? Do they have jobs? Do they have a future? Do they have anything left to lose? These are all important questions that Alexandra Pascalidou added, and they need to be adressed.

The initiative is great, but needs more work…

Why won’t you protect women, Cristina?

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner

President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner has done great things for Argentina. The income gap between the country’s rich and poor has been reduced by nearly half, the torturers, kidnappers and murderers (generals, officers, etc) of the 70-80′s military junta are being brought to justice – and finally sentenced. She, and her late husband Nestor Kirchner, have done what few – if any – Argentine Presidents have succeeded to do since the Dirty War: start to get the country back on its feet and bring out the truth and justice that the military have done their very best to conceal.

It speaks volumes that several Latin American countries have done what neither the US nor most countries in Europe (my home country Sweden included) have done: elect female presidents. And these presidents often have to face struggles that their colleagues in Europe rarely have to. The question of women’s reproductive justice is one of them. I can only speculate in what President Fernández de Kirchner’s personal feelings are regarding these questions but, officialy at least, she is anti-abortion.

I admit that I’m not too involved in Argentine politics – I’ve never lived there, only visited to spend time with family – but the country will always have a special place in my heart. And that’s why it hurts me to know that the first elected female president isn’t doing all that’s in her power to stop women from dying from clandestine abortions. Not only is abortion illegal in Argentina, according to Human Rights Watch; “multiple barriers prevented women in Argentina from making independent decisions about their health and lives related to reproduction. These restrictions included inaccurate, incomplete or entirely absent information; domestic and sexual violence; and economic restraints that the government was not adequately addressing.”  The study shows that not only is abortion not allowed unless it is a direct threath to the mother’s health or when the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, but there are no guarantees that you will be allowed to perform an abortion even in these cases. Furthermore,  most women aren’t aware that they (might) have the right to an abortion in those cases, or even that they have a right to receive the contraceptive methods of their choice. The Catholic Church is of course one of the main reasons behind these very restricted abortion laws, but according to NY times, the stigmatization of abortion increased after President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner took over in 2007.

Nora Cortiñas

The President’s close ties with two of the most famous feminist groups in the world makes her stand in the question peculiar to me, to say the least. Las Madres de Plaza de Mayo and Las Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo are the mothers of the young people who were disappeared and killed by the military junta during the Dirty War, and the grandmothers of the babies born in captivity, disappeared, and either killed or adopted by the military men and their families. They are both feminist groups who work with La Presidenta. Even though they may not have abortion on the top of their list,  it is one of their issues since it is a women’s issue. Nora Cortiñas (Madres) says: “We are all women. We have doubts only on one issue; we don’t agree on it or haven’t discussed it widely: abortion. It’s a complex topic, you know; some of the women are Catholic, but they are beginning to understand that the issue is that poor women die while those who are well-off can have an abortion; they can decide and their health is protected. And these poor women cannot afford contraceptive methods. Furthermore, there isn’t any kind of sex education. But that took some time. At first, the topic of abortion produced uneasiness. Many said they didn’t want to get mixed up in that question because woman is a lifegiver….But you know, we’ve made progress in that field. For many years I have fought for the decriminalization and legalization of abortion, although I don’t support it. But I think every woman has a right to decide.”

(You can read Cortiñas’ full testimony in the book Women’s Activism in Latin America and the Caribbean: Engendering Social Justice, Democratizing Citizenship)

As Nora Cortiñas said, and as I’ve discussed elsewhere, wealthy women do have access to abortion, and studies have shown that most of them are adults, married with children – and catholic. So it’s the young and poor women who are, again, left to take care of  and defend themselves the best they can…

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Organizations working for women’s reproductive rights in Latin America and the Caribbean:

• Católicas por el Derecho a Decidir (CDD)

• Articulación Feminista Mercosur

• Association for Women’s Rights in Development (AWID)

• Convención

• Red de Salud de las Mujeres Latinoamericanas y del Caribe (RSFALC)
• Partida Argentina Feminista (PAF)

Read about the National Campaign for Legal, Safe, and Free Abortions in Argentina here

and PAF’s pdf about the campaign here

Human Rights belong to all of us

On Saturday (10 Dec) all around the world, people will be celebrating Human Rights Day, and this year especially the importance of social media in our daily struggle for those rights. The Tunisian Revolution  is now forever linked with the importance that social media can play in advocating for change, and we could all watch it happen.

Social media has made it easier for us to realize that human rights are being violated every hour of every day, which in turn has led more and more people to activally get involved. Trough outlets such as blogs, Twitter and Facebook, activists have the chance to mobilize for  protesting and to get their message out to the whole world that they are fighting for change.

If there is one thing that we must be able to agree on, it should be every person’s undeniable right to live a full life. Human Rights  belong to all of us;  Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status (Article 2).

So when those rights are being denied, we can no longer say that it’s happening too far away for us to take a stand. Whether it’s happening where you live or on the other side of the world, today we have every opportunity to make a difference.

Learn more about Human Rights:

• The Universal Declaration of Human Rights

• The High Commissioner for Human Rights will host a global conversation on human rights through social media on Friday, 9 Dec at 9:30 a.m. New York time.

• The United Nations Human Rights Facebook page
• Learn about Human Rights via Amnesty International

For events, promotional materials etc, go here